Surprise!

One day, the next, the next; no one knows what'll happen.

Me? I never know what or how I'm going to think.

Can you imagine what it feels like to blink an eye and suddenly hate everything around you?

This isn't me being negative.

I have dreams.

I just don't have plans.

And you don't 'know how I feel'. Go relate with someone inwardly stable.

Exposure

I'd like to type up a massive update right now, but I'm so exhausted.

Points for now:

- Shooting + processing + printing = the best fucking hobby I've ever picked up. I want to do this forever.

- My writing intensive english courses are cake. I feel like a genius in class. Hey! I'm scribing again!

- Work still sucks. Gonna job search at the end of the semester. Probably Vans.

- AMP is blowing up like.. a hot air balloon filled with landmines. Our first show of the year was earlier tonight and it was ridiculously sickkk. I rented a tripod prior and nearly expended a roll of exposures on everything. I was rationing 'cause I forgot to bring more film. I'm dying to know if they came out alright because it was my first time: shooting SLR at night, under controlled lighting, low to no shutter speed, no flash, all atop a pod. PLEEEASE!!

- I made a picture at our first meeting this past Tuesday, processed it that night, printed it yesterday, and it was published in the KaLeo this morning.

All three aspirations combined.. finally, I'm free.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

I'm looking forward.

to be continued...(?!)

My life's one filled with plot holes and hangers and mumbo-jumbo dialogue and it all beats the hell out of my imagination. I laugh at describing it. Cliche, cliche, cliche; but no, I swear that none of this was premeditated. We didn't see it coming. It's funny; see, I told you I'd laugh. It's funny that after all this time, we're planning on when or whether the final cut will be. Your lines are calm and practiced, but you're terrified and I feel it and I don't want it anymore. I want you to laugh.

And I want you to keep on smiling whether I know it or not.

SCENE

One of the greats

I am alone
But adored by 100,000 more
Then I said when you were the last.
And I have known love, like a whore
from at least 10,000 more
Then I swore when you were the last

When you were the last high
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh

You were awake,
And I should have stayed, but wandered.
I was only out for a day.
out for a day.
It was Chicago for a moment,
And then it was Paris and London for a few
days.

Well, I am alone
But adored by 100,000 more
Then I swore when you were the last.

When you were the last high
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh

Well I was the first to have spoken
And I said just about all of the things you shouldn't say.
So maybe you loved me, but now maybe you don't.
And maybe you'll call me.
Maybe you won't.

So, I am alone
But adored by 100,000 more
Then I said when you were the last.
And I have known love, like a whore
from at least 10,000 more
Then I swore when you were the last.

When you were the last high
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh

When you were the last high
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh
hi-i-i-gh

The Last High

The Dandy Warhols

Almost

I think I'm getting a little better at judging lighting settings. Luckily, this camera makes the pictures pretty sick even if I'm off. I learned that cloudy setting (least bright) is best for normal, sunny daytime shots. Sunny setting (brightest) is reserved for extreme brightness, like the sort you'll find at the beach. Everything between is subject to change.

I'm still waiting for USPS to hayaku their asses and bring me my SLR already. Class starts Tuesday (I know I won't need it, but still, I can use it to bribe the professor for a spot in the section) and I wanted it for the AMP event on Monday. Seeing as it's Sunday, that won't be happening. Also, I have this upcoming Wednesday completely off and will hopefully spend it in early morning Chinatown.

I'm happy to say that my life is picking up. I've got great classes ahead, work meaning savings, fingers crossed for Seattle in spring, some solid hobbies and great friends.

But I'm never so steady with feelings,

And I'm a bit empty

Without

Lights! Camera!

A few from my last roll with a focus on lighting:

Noon

Make a wish

Doesn't look like rain

R&R

I grew here

More coming tonight

*I take that back. I'm picking it up tomorrow.

Up

It's 6:42a and I've been up since 6:00a for my work shift at 9:00a. I do this now..or have been for the past two days. Forcing myself out of bed's given me time to eat comfortably, finish two cups of coffee, and around a half-hour to work out. Yes, work out. Now that I'll be getting three meals a day and my metabolism should be kicking in any second, I need to keep tabs. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm trying. I've neglected myself for so damn long and I won't allow it anymore. Sound body rhythm, sound mind harmony; I need a tune for all I want to tell the world. All I want to tell you. Truth is, recent happenings have inspired me. These are what will drive me to repeat such history.

"Find what you're afraid of most and go live there"
- from Invisible Monsters

* Oh, and do check out the banner on the left
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