Ghosts and shit.

I don't understand my body much anymore. My sleeping patterns are ridiculously out of whack. Because of work and my Astro field studies, I'm working late, falling asleep on the way home, and usually don't get there 'til about 12:00a. When I'm finally ready to crash, I can't. I lay there and my heart pumps like crazy, and I feel as though I need to get up and do something. I'm doomed at this point, because I need to wake up at 6:00a for school.

It gets better.

When I finally do pass out, I dream. I dream over and over again and wake up between each one. Sometimes I'm half-awake, and I trip out on people being in my room with me, watching me, talking to me; and I watch and talk back. It all sounds a lot scarier as I type this. Ghosts and shit.

A few nights ago, I experienced something..well, I don't know what. This one dream was strange, of course, combining a Chinese restaurant with the Matrix with me having Ichigo powers (woo!), but one part of it deviated from the story line and became one of its own. Hers was a face that I'm positive I'd never seen before, but she was beautiful. Maybe she was the product of every attraction, every fondness I've ever known. Anyway, that isn't the point. In this dream, I loved this girl. I felt her on my skin, pouring in, flowing through my every fiber. Sensations that had paled so long ago were (literally) in my dreams. Finally. I was already looking forward to tomorrow, (which I somehow had conscious knowledge about) and how I'd spend it with her. I remember thinking, still dreaming, that I couldn't wait for the world to know about us.

And then I woke up,

And for seconds, maybe minutes, I dreamt of her still.

But I realized that none of it was real.

And in that instant, I didn't want anything of any thing anymore.

It was an amazing episode, but I never want to see it again. With the consistent absence of such a thing would come unbearable intervals. I'm familiar with such essences.

Fucking dreams, man.